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September. September 5, 2007

Posted by The Truth in Im Allgemeinen.
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And so it’s september. Summer has come and gone, and soon the verdant green will give way to shades of amber and gold. In Germany, the leaves will begin to wilt and fall, and the winds will grow colder and harsher. Even the Sun grows tired, as she begins to sink earlier beneath the horizon. In Singapore, September is hardly perceptible – the days remain as long as they always were, and every day you see the same faces dozing in the buses, breathe the same air – nothing changes.

It’s September.

September is also a reminder of the season to come – a season of cold, a season of loneliness. A season where the ground is covered in a layer of the purest white, a season where every deep breath burns your lungs – a time where no one is about, because everyone is home and with their loved ones, and there you are, in that shitty little apartment with the four walls talking to you, wishing you were in someone else’s arms, when you know that she’s not going to be there, when you know that whatever you do, you’ll end up nowhere but hurt.

And you want to talk and so you open the window, but the snowflakes flutter oh-so-silently to the ground. The silence is deafening, and so that you keep hearing you turn up the radio to sad love songs, and reports of traffic jams on the roads.

September is just a beginning – it’s the beginning of a new month. A new month, new experiences, new people – no, the beginnings of months aren’t supposed to be like that. It’s not supposed to be a new beginning. It’s supposed to be just September – it comes, and then it passes. Without any herald of its coming, and without any notice of its passing.

However, September brought an end of something for me. September was a bee which came to me in the darkest of nights, stinging me awake from a very, very sweet dream. Perhaps i will find sleep again. September is a wise person who told me to let it go. September is exasperation. September is going to be work which i bury my nose in, firstly because i have to and secondly because i want to truly let this whole thing go.

September is a month spent at a place which i don’t know if i can call home.

It’s September. And it won’t stop raining.