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Attachment. August 13, 2007

Posted by The Truth in Im Allgemeinen.

I’m not attached to her or whoever. I’m attached to an organisation…namely, MOE. Or, more specifically, MOELC. And the workload is pretty insane! Moms is right when she says that i’ll be a workaholic in the future…which i seriously do not want to be…considering that a huge fear of mine is forgetting my dream to get a PhD and teach at a university.

However, the people are nice and kind, and i found many familiar faces…like schraudolph, annie, yadda, so i guess there’s a bright side to it after all. The Germans seem to be pretty okay folk as well, i figure. But working til 8pm? Reminds me of uni in Trier. I guess the worst part of it is dragging your tired ass home to God-knows-what, having a lot to tell but no one to tell it to (or perhaps i simply don’t want to tell it…why am i like that?)

Maybe i want to tell it to just a particular someone. And you check your e-mail several times a day, and you go on studivz for no good reason, and you know that more often than not, nothing which interests you is going to be there. The day wears on, without the Ermunterungsstoff which awakens, refreshes and rejuvenates. And when you don’t get the quiet which everyone needs sometimes, when all you do is run here and there, up and down, losing yourself in the troubles of others, and when right at the end, you get that peace and quiet which you need – and there is nothing but emptiness, because you’re just too tired, too drained.

I seem to have misplaced your smile, your voice and your face. Dashboard Confessional featuring Juli is on infinite replay.

Ich vermisse dich.



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