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weniger als 72 Stunden September 24, 2006

Posted by The Truth in Im Allgemeinen.

So now i have less than 72 hours before i fly away to another continent, and hopefully a new, better me.

What’s going through my mind? Loads.

I’m worried about going solo, ditching my support system (as in their physical presence,) missing free, already-cooked meals, worried about all the Bürokratie i have to clear, worried about my DSH-Prüfung (which, according to everyone, i shouldn’t be worried about…)

I’m worried about cooking my own meals (and potentially poisoning myself in the process,) worried about sich zurechtfinden in Trier, worried about getting beaten up by neo-Nazis, worried about Heimweh, worried about leaving xiaole behind, worried about bad company, worried about so, so many things, ranging from the great to the insignificant, like being worried about left-hand driving, and being worried about not having enough clothes if Trier remains summery, or about me forgetting how to speak English (or Mandarin…das wäre ne echte Schade!)

The thing about worrying is that it only gets worse as the time gets shorter. What makes it worse is the inevitability of it all. You know that it’s going to come, you know that you will have to take a deep breath, hug your family goodbye, kiss your girl on the cheek and give her a tight hug, turn to your friends and hug them one by one, knowing you won’t have them by your side for the next 4 or 5 months. Then you will have to turn around, take a deep breath, and step through the gate, the one which have many signs in gaudy colours, wishing you a nice trip in so, so many languages.

What will i do then?

Maybe i’ll turn around and wave until i cannot see them anymore. Maybe i’ll break down into tears, and make the person at customs wonder why i look so different from the smiling face on the passport. Maybe i’ll turn back and look infintely sad, but i’ll do the ‘smile’ sign to tell everyone to be happy that i’m going to start a new chapter of my life.

Tick, tock, tick, tock. Die Zeit wartet auf niemanden. Sigh.



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