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Was ist mit der Welt los? April 20, 2006

Posted by The Truth in Im Allgemeinen.
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I was reading The Straits Times when, emblazoned in bold letters across the 'HOME' portion (in fact it's the fucking cover page)

To cut a long story short:

This guy from a good JC, who is apparently good enough to attempt 2 S Papers, threw himself off a HDB block some days back. Why? Why? Because…*drumroll*…

He felt his wiener was too small.

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?! Okay, okay, so many dudes are worried that their…penises aren't exactly Dongzilla. And well, as Asians, we're naturally…smaller. But that don't mean that we can't have bong-bong! Either way, that's the report, in briefs.

Ahem, in brief. Fucking alcohol.

His parents said he said in January that 'life was meaningless and the only thing preventing him from committing suicide would be love for his family.' Oh man. I think that they should have felt something amiss then. But they didn't do anything or such. In October '05 (when i was still a 2LT…hmmm) he already voiced out worries about his perceived small little brother and well his momma took him to the doc, who said nothing was wrong.

The official stand of the State is that it's a 'tragedy of misinformation' and is a re-iteration of the importance of sex education, for even someone as bright as this above-mentioned fool fell victim to it. And he had a girlfriend, for goodness' sakes. Even with a strong source of emotional support as such, he still decided to take the plunge anyway. Personally, i feel that this is bollocks. I mean, this is clearly a psychological problem and you want to counter it with sex education? There's a limit on sex education between what's educational and what's perverse. I mean, if students are allowed to write in a book about whatever they've learnt and their hopes and fears, that's peachy keen – in fact, that's pretty damned good because teachers then will have an inkling of what's to come and then be able to step in. But flashing a transparency and saying 'the average male penis is maybe 5 inches long' and then defining how to measure the length of it is really bordering on balderdash.

Fyi: balderdash is another word for absolutely idiotic, what-the-fuck-were-you-thinking nonsense.

Samantha (a.k.a. Clublife's Girl Next Door) has come up with the theory that it's a gross case of physical dysmorphia, id est, the feeling that something is wrong with the body, even if nothing is. Simply put, you get a distorted image of yourself when you look in the mirror. The problem is that with such problems, (especially something so private as this) it's natural for the person to clam up. Going to a shrink may not be exactly the most helpful thing, because, as she says, they'll try to fit you into some theory they learnt at university. Which is, also, sadly true, because not many are as open-minded as we imagine them to be. So they may come back feeling even worse, that they are THE social misfits.

The other reaction, the one we get mostly from guys, is one of amusement. Many are of the opinion that this guy is probably a retard to let something like penis size control himself – a classic case of the little head controlling the big one, huh? KTF (he's now Kelvin The Fallen, for reasons beyond my comprehension) claims that he is a loser, and that nothing is worth giving up your life for. I suppose that's true, if you think about it clearly. I would give my life for my specs/men/lover/wife/family in a rush of adrenaline. But that's irrational thinking. So does JJ. But i'd never give up my life over my manhood.

Personally, i think this guy had issues. BIG issues. The thing was that he never spoke up, so everyone assumed it was all right. And that little statement is something which is key to all relationships. (emelyne, i dearly hope you're reading this.) So he was facing a psychological problem, something which caused him to see an aberration every morning when he had his morning piss, and so what if it was something which was really that embarrasing that he had to hide everything in silence? The little lesson here is that…

People are going to assume that everything is all right if you don't speak up.

I think the focus of sex education shouldn't just be about preaching safe sex, celibacy and all; it should also work on fostering an environment of openness, where students are confident enough to talk about their problems. Of course, it's not easy to open up a closed society where sex is more taboo than talk. But let's bring it into a more everyday sense, between friends who are supposedly 'close.'

A lot of times, many words are left unspoken because of the following reasons:

  • Simply too busy that you overlook SMS-es, calls, etc.
  • One couldn't be bothered to.
  • One feels that he/she wouldn't be taken seriously
  • One doesn't want to over-burden the other with concerns.
  • One assumes that the other assumes that everything is all right.
  • Mistrust.

I'm sure there are many more dimensions to this, but the simple fact is that if you have problems you want to share, go ahead and share it. I'm sure there are people who are willing to lend you a listening ear (or two.) Not many of my friends actually deign to share their worries with me, and in turn it worries me. Of course, i tend to assume that many of them are just doing okay, but for some people (like my dear mei) who i feel are already overworked, i can't help but worry. And sometimes the response i get proves me right.

But they are not sharing. I wonder what's wrong. What's wrong with everything? We're plunging into a world of silence. It's sad. Very, very sad.

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Comments»

1. Sam - April 21, 2006

The condition is actually called body dysmorphia or body dysmorphic disorder (BDD). It’s more common than people realise…I mean anorexics, bulimics and reverse anorexics (more common among guys than girls) …they all have this problem. And women who go for breast augmentation, people who get cosmetic surgery for anything, apart from accidents or threats to their health, all suffer from BDD to some degree. But it’s hard to talk about it, I guess. Cos everyone will tell you nothing’s wrong and blah…and it feels like everyone’s “against” you. What you should do when someone actually takes you into his/her confidence, is to just listen. Sometimes it helps just to voice all the confusing, negative thoughts in your head..then the demons don’t seem half so scary.

And hello, no wonder the guy didn’t dare to talk to anyone lah…if you knew you were gonna be laughed at, would you dare? It’d just confirm your fears and feed your insanity.

You’re right…sex ed ain’t gonna change this…it’s the attitudes that have to change. But you’ve gotta start somewhere. It’s like the condom dilemma: should you give away free condoms to young people? But if you give condoms out, it seems like you’re condoning pre-marital sex. But if you don’t give them out and educate them, what if they just have sex anyway…and then they have AIDS and other STDs. Oh well.

2. guojun - April 22, 2006

Shoutout to our Girl Next Door, who has very kindly given us a clarification of things…


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