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In der Gang D zu fahren March 31, 2006

Posted by The Truth in Im Allgemeinen.
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Man. My brain must have not been functioning correctly today. Somehow i couldn't shift into German mode…HAHAHA…as if there's such a thing, but i don't know. Lack of energy today. Must've been the bowling first thing in the morning. And the work with Goethe in the afternoon. I mean, it shouldn't be this difficult…well it wasn't lah. But the fact that i was trying to smoke my teacher could've been it.

Reading the chapter 'Prolog im Himmel', i suddenly got the impression that the life of Faust was actually just a game of the gods, a contract between God and Mephistopheles (here the embodiment of the Devil) – but then again, isn't everyone's life a game of the gods? Well, you can certainly choose to see things that way, but then wouldn't life lose its meaning? Alles den Göttern zu überlassen – geht das? Mephisto also mentioned that the gift of God to humanity – that of reason – actually made Man more animalistic than any animal. I'm sure you'll find parallels of it in today's world – just read the newspapers! It was also interesting to see that Mephisto is actually still a child of God – that he admits that he is less powerful than God – i wonder what this means.

Still, my interest is aroused…i'm quite intrigued by all this. Maybe i'll go read Faust anyway. (Oh, if only i understood more of old German…O liiiiive Lait!) I want to see how Faust was tempted. Why did he sell his soul for the sake of knowledge? Was it all worth it? I don't know…well, as if you did anyway! HAHAHAHA!

Anyhows, so i've brought some german books for schraudy. Well, even if there was enmity between us…that's already 3 years ago…well, of course she shouldn't have treated us like dawgs but i guess it's time to move on, isn't it? Forgiven, not forgotten. Anyhows. It seems she wasn't in town! FUCK! But oh well i had quite a nice time talking with those IP students. It seems that the German 'O' Level has been replaced by Zertifikat Deutsch in NJC…it's a degree which is offered by the Goethe-Institut, by the way – it's supposed to show that you're cleared die Mittelstufe des Deutschlernens so yeah. That kinda figures. Oberstufe is really, really for 'A' Levels – it's only there that you really learn about culture and the works.

Anyhow, i just found out that we were the last batch of LEPers to go to Venedig! (Venice, for the uninitiated.) OMGWTFweweresosobloodylucky, weren't we? Sigh. Yes, i'm a 100% Europhile. Ich liebe Venedig, ich liebe Berlin, ich liebe Altensteig und die Umgebung, i like almost anything european. I'll bet that i'll find a way to fall in love with Heidelberg as well. Sigh.

Coming back, i think my brains were out of whack today. Not that i was slipping up in my German (in some ways i did) but oh wells, maybe it happens. Also managed to talk to the Beraterin from the DAAD today! Well, so now i've a checklist to do:

  1. Lebenslauf schreiben
  2. Nachchecken, ob ich mich schon bei manche Unis anmelden kann
  3. Mich beim Ausbildungsministerium (MOE) melden
  4. Mir ein Visum schaffen

That should be it. Time seems to be running out although i still have 3 and a half months. Damn…Stressful sia!

Still. HELLO GERMANY!

And here are the answers to yesterday's questions.

1. No. 1 means to micturate and no. 2 to, well, shit.
2. e.g. = exempli gratia.
3. schadenfreude
– joy at the suffering of others.
4. A semi-automatic gearbox doesn't have a clutch, but it has a manual stick-shift. You disengage the clutch by pulling a pedal near the steering wheel.
5. R.S.V.P. = répondez, s'il vous plaît – reply, please. So, please R.S.V.P. = please reply, please. Tautology!
6. It means…all same-same lah.

Toodles! 

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Transamerica and Pop Quizzes March 28, 2006

Posted by The Truth in Im Allgemeinen.
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So i met samantha for some Transamerica today. It's kinda…disturbing, i must say, seeing all the anguish our hero/-ine has to go through for his/her son. All the efforts to prevent him from knowing that that's his father he's looking at there…and having to bottle it up until the very moment that his/her son tries to seduce him/her, knowing full well that well…he's a chix with d*x! Sigh. But i guess that being the son, that must've really, really fucked things up. The poor dude.

Still, samantha really had a good laugh at my supposed lack of general knowledge, although she admits that maybe she's watching too much TV. But it got me thinking. What is GK? Is it just a bunch of useless fun facts? Anyhow, here are a seriesbattery of questions for you. No answers are provided…maybe the next entry!

1. What's No.1 and No.2? (Hint: Diuretics make you wanna do it, and it's NOT a type of military dress code.)
2. What does e.g. actually stand for, in full? (Hint: It's in Latin!)
3. Define 'schadenfreude.'
4. How does a semi-automatic gearbox work? (Think Alfa Romeo's Selespeed…etc)
5. What are the roots of R.S.V.P.? Why is the phrase 'Please RSVP' tautology?
6. What's the meaning of the phrase '半斤八俩?'

Answers to come!

The iPod Videorama, and Mind Your Language! March 28, 2006

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I was just re-discovering the VIDEO in ‘iPod
Video’ today on the bus to work…it’s been awhile since i ever
selected ‘Filme’ in the ‘Videos’ section. There i was, sitting in 173
on the way to Bukit Batok, watching Rosenstolz’ Ich bin Ich (Wir Sind Wir)
– a really beautiful, what-a-wonderful-life-it-was-with-you kind of
story…it’s so sweet and if you understood German, you’d be going emo
already. Especially mit Hilfe des Videos.

But still. I managed to impress eng chok into wanting an iPod Video by showing him jerkitout by Mark Leung,
some totally retarded video but yet so fucking hilarious by local
standards…i wonder seriously how he managed to evade arrest. I
thought Santa v.s. Chicken would already get you some hours in the
slammer already. Must have a relative who’s an M.P. HAHAHAHA…anyway,
i also showed him Kate Ryan’s Libertine, OKAY, OKAY, i’ll admit it – i don’t fully understand the lyrics. But it’s still pretty godlike, the vid itself and also the displaying! Yum, yum.

It seems that’s been some kind of furore over lecturers at
universities speaking bad English. If you’ve been reading the papers,
there are students complaining of not being able to comprehend
lecturers with bad English, there are yet others calling for acceptance
of dialects and accents, and yet others calling for universities to
re-think their acceptance policies for professors from other countries.

My question to all these people is: Why this intolerance?

Granted, i’ll probably not really be able to understand my German professor, especially if his/her German is strongly accented
with maybe Schwäbisch/some other kind of European flavour but i guess i won’t complain. It’s the flavour of the place i’m going to, if
i make it to Heidelberg. I can’t expect everyone to be talking 100%
Hochdeutsch. I’m kinda afraid, but it doesn’t mean that i’m not gonna try.
Philosophie is gonna be crazier, but i guess i’ll have to find a way to
learn it. So yes, when i fly over, German will be my first language,
English and Mandarin my mother tongues. I think i’ll have to learn
Latin and French in German, even!

Still, not to digress. Why are Singaporeans so intolerant of people
with different language abilities? It’s not as if we’re speaking the
Queen’s English, are we? So who are we to expect that people are
talking the Queen’s English at us so we can understand?
Understand this, all. Everyone’s language has imperfections. If it’s
really that bad that you can’t understand their English, and if you are
100% convinced that your friends don’t understand as well, then you
should bring it up. Just because you can’t understand doesn’t mean that
he/she is necessarily a bad educator.

Of course, you could say that a lecturer’s bzw. (=beziehungsweise. and in relation to that) teacher’s tan chiak is good communication skills so that their charges learn. Isn’t it? So poor communications skills = no tan chiak. Even so, it’s not a reason to encourage boykottieren just because this prof can’t talk ‘proper,’ Queen’s English! It’s foolish, and absurd. And think about it: YOU are missing out if you boycott.

If you think you can just start a boycott any time you
want, why don’t you get together a group of like-minded people and
*try* to petition for your university bzw. college or whatever to hire
language personnel to help your poor lecturers/professors?! Rage
against the machine should be directed at unreasonable fee hikes, and
maybe you can boycott the canteen food (or elections) if it’s that bad. But boycotting lessons is, ultimately, YOUR LOSS. You should be educated enough to know this.

I’m not saying that i speak perfect Queen’s English or whatever to be able to sit here, all atas and
all, and lecture all of you about tolerance. But well. An environment
of intolerance never saw any progress being made. You’re not
revolutionaries or freedom fighters or crusaders (i dub thee Sir
Dip-Shit of the Holy Order of Her Majesty’s English) because you all
probably don’t speak proper English yourselves!

We can’t expect people to change their mannerisms and
accents overnight, can we? Of course, they’re working in Singapore, but
they too, have their roots. Do you think i’m gonna forget how to swear
colourfully like a fucking chao Ah Beng when i’m in Germany? Of
course not – just as you’ll probably see me slip up and colour my
informal German with lots of local/English/dialect (German and
mandarin) terms when i’m not required to speak in 100% Hochdeutsch.
It’s sad that these professors, with all their degrees and such, aren’t
able to carry through their ideas clearly. It’s worse to see the
(non-)tolerance level of their students.

Are we turning into a society of xenophobes?

Sauerkraut weit weg genommen! March 26, 2006

Posted by The Truth in Im Allgemeinen.
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After pubbing with the dudes last night, i was happily sitting on bus route 77
home. I was having a nice buzz after some champagne, a Maï Taï, a
couple of fags, and the Söhne Mannheims playing on my iPod. I wasn't
trying to *think*, because thinking per se would only lead me down one particular road of thought.

Anyways.

Soon this seat opposite me (i sit in the 2nd front row, which has 2
rows of seats facing each other, for the uninitiated) was occupied by
this lady. I'd say she was maybe in her late 30s? But anyhow, that's besides the point. The point of it all was her countenance.

She was staring at everyone like she was gonna stretch her jaws wide
open
and swallow them whole. Well okay that's not really that bad is it? How
shall i describe it…she looked SAUERKRAUT-ish. Or maybe like a fish?
Or that's the impression i got. Well, that's one person who definitely looks out of place on a bus, à la a fish out of water. Well, if she just looked like that i'm sure i wouldn't even bother to blog it at all.

BUT…

There was this thing about her which i found, well, wrong.
This dude standing at maybe her 4 o'clock (you know how buses are on
Saturday evenings – worse than sardine cans) may have banged into her
inadvertently as the bus turned and such, and she was like staring at
him with those HUMONGOUS eyes, even after he apologised. I was mildly
amused then…but after that she was like herself versus The Bus.

Goodness. At the KAP bus-stop, these two girls came on and well i
moved somewhat to let them through…and then she stared AT ME. I was
like…*double-take* WTF?!?! Hello…i certainly didn't touch your
expensive $10000 clothes did i? OMG did my white Adidas Superstar shoes
accidentally stain your black dress pants white? NO RIGHT?! THEN WHY ARE YOU SO HYPERSENSITIVE?!

Of course, i didn't ask about any skin problems, or maybe she's
suffering under the condition that the slightest touch causes extreme
pain (it exists. Go and google it, or
read some medical journals.) And so she moved to the back, which, while
causing me great optical relief, was actually rather disturbing inside.
I felt like…

WHAT THE FUCK. As if she's too good for us. If she's really that good,
she should be flying Air Force One back home instead of taking
lowly bus route 77, don't you think? So it's not really a reason for
you to enforce your cruddy mood on everyone. The guy sitting next to me
also heaved a visible sigh of relief. Man. Talk about no love in the
world anymore. And yes, i apologised, if that made you better. If you
would rather we didn't dirty your $10000 clothes then you could've
remained standing and waited for a seat in the back already!

Man. Maybe it's as melvyn would say, Air Force One is down for PMCS. HAHAHA.

Still. I've had quite enough of bad moods and angry people. Going
running later! Hopefully some fresh air will do me some good…

Protected: Für Taryn March 26, 2006

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Only Love Can Break Your Heart March 26, 2006

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‘But only love can break your heart, try to be sure right from the start, yes, only love can break your heart, what if your world should fall apart?’
The Corrs, Only Love Can Break Your Heart

How true. How so fucking true. What is love?

For some, love = lust. Love is a four letter word, ranking amongst, shit, fuck, etc. Love may be the sweetest thing ever on Earth. Love may be a drug. Love may be an object of desire, hic et nunc, but nothing more. Love may transcend death. Love may be a heartbreaker. Some claim love to be their raison d’être. What’s love to you?

For me, love breaks and love divides. Love laughs, yet she makes one cry. Love can give, and she can take. Love can re-kindle an extinguished heart, just like she buries them in the dead of the night. To describe love with a variety of D’s, let’s just use the family of the Endless, if you read The Sandman. Love is Destiny. Death. Dream. Desire. Delusion. Delight. Delirium. Despair. And a lot more.

And only love can break your heart. For you metal fans out there, who have heard of the group H.I.M.

The Funeral of Hearts?

taryn just put me into emo mood, what with all that’s been happening these past few days. I’ve bowled, drank, fagged, sighed, thought hard, listened to the Schmusepapst like 4 times over, read, wrote, and then some. But one thing remains:

I’m still thinking about what happened on Thursday. I’m still riding The Guilt Express.

What i wrote you still stands. Unless you don’t want to see me for the next 4 months. I’m okay with that. It’s not gonna be easy, es wird mir Weh tun, aber wenn es so sein musst, dann tue ich das. Perhaps we both need time. It’s come to the point where sometimes when i talk to you, i don’t know whether you’ll explode the next second or not. It’s come to the point that we’re already so familiar (but yet so alien), that when we talk there’s nothing substantial. It’s come to the point that everytime you return home, i will find some way to piss you off, one way or another.

Is it that bad? Do i have too many failings, or am i just unfit to please you? I know you’ve been really, really nice to me by helping me get all my stuff home, getting stuff for my DSH, and all, but i don’t know what i can do to make things right. I don’t know what i can do to make you happy deep down. I REALLY don’t want to see you upset anymore, yet sometimes what i do is akin to rubbing salt into your wounds. And in doing so i get upset myself. And it’s destructive.

Neue Wege finden? Eine neue Welt entdecken? Die Tage rinnen durch unsere Hände. Was schaffen wir noch, wenn 10000 Kilometer zwischen uns liegen? Du musst mir nicht glauben; das ist, was ich noch sagen wollte.

Beyond Redemption? March 24, 2006

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Maybe i truly am.

I always write stuff that pisses people off. It’s not that i do it intentionally, but it happens.

And i always fuck up and, although i apologise, end up muddying the waters further.

Sigh.

Maybe i should, as captain francis would put it, HANG MYSELF.

Quantum Physics Takes You to Hell March 24, 2006

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A bad start to the day (or make that two bad starts) makes for a really rotten day overall.

So i was awakened at about 7 with a splitting atomic-class headache wishing i was dead. NO, it’s not the fags. Must’ve been working hard the past 2 days, not getting enough sleep, and add on to that a bowling session with kelvin. So i popped a pill and went back to lie down…thinking that re-positioning my body in the comfortable horizontal position would do me some good.

Well, perhaps it worked too well.

When i woke up again it was 0830. That’s a quick recovery, you may say, but i was beginning to feel like today would be a horrible, horrible day. How true.

You see, i was supposed to meet samantha for breakfast AT EIGHT today. And yes she got there and i didn’t. I slept through Dragostea Din Teï and probably a few more repeats of that song. I called her immediately but i was feeling so drowsy that she was just like…’whyn’t you call me back when you’re fully awake?!’ but i just felt that i HAD to explain what happened. What’s worse is the following:

1. I know her well enough not to do such things…(stehen bleiben kotzt sie richtig an)
2. I probably sounded too drowsy to be coherent, which probably pissed her off all the more
3. I should have called the moment i took the pill

Yes, that’s the reasons, in briefs. I still feel super rotten…but GUESS WHAT!

I have to be punished, according to her…well…treat makan can liao…? NO…apparently the way she describes it, it’s gonna be much, much worse…

*thinks about being trussed up and being bitch-slapped about…*
‘You like that huh bitch?’
‘Come on give me the alphabet the other way around’*SLAP*
‘What’s 25×25??’*PINCH*
‘NO!!!! NOT DOWN THEREEEEEEEEEEAAIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!’
*ambulance sirens*
gulp. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

I mean, wth. It’s like those games where all you want to do is to make sure the other party SUFFERS. Was it really that bad?! Well, i mean, bad means different things to different people, so, yeah i guess i earned it. Whatever cooks your noodle…after all, you pay for murder with your life don’t you? (although i still can’t believe that well…you could be THAT sadistic. What happened to giving people a chance man…)

This is a syndrome or phenomenon called quantum physics. It’s not what you study at the university…it’s something melvyn and myself came up observing the sleeping patterns of forest when we WERE soldiers. Apparently forest closes his eyes and when he opens them again, 2 yearshours have passed. Apparently i’ve made one more discovery, being the scientific geniussloth that i am, about quantum physics:

If you experience quantum physics when you have a date coming up, you better wake up your fucking idea! Quantum physics can also be a one-way ticket to Purgatory.

Also discovered that you have less chances once your friendship becomes closer. I mean, yeah. I didn’t have a chance. So, children, if you want to have close friends, you better fucking make sure that you do not GOOF UP in front of them!

Yes, samantha, i’m your biatch now. Until i pay my dues, at least…ich hab das alles wirklicht nicht gewollt! sigh.

It’s gotta be some kind of karma. Payback for all the bad things you did as an officer, maggot!

And to all those guys who see me as a shame to men around the world…go fuck yourselves. Although what i did was WRONG, don’t tell me it’s never happened to you before. It’s only that brothers are more forgiving…since when have i ever blown up at you, reuben, when you’re late? And for that reason you’ve never blown up in my face, either. But i can’t go around waving a banner with ‘Bros before ‘Hos!‘ emblazoned on it, can i?

Man. i’m swimming with sharks. So help me, whoever happens to be listening.

and Everything Comes Back March 23, 2006

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Isn’t it amazing/amusing how things have a knack of fading away in your memory slowly, and then coming back to you in a rush of nostalgia/blood to the head?

I just went bowling with kelvin at this new alley…i don’t know the name of the place, but still. I was re-examining my release (my Ace has somehow lost its characteristic dive from the right gutter into the pocket/cross-pocket) when i re-adopted what johnny taught me when i first got my Ace…and guess what! With more practice and a more consistent laying down point, my Ace actually does dive for the pocket! Well, it’s not exactly a coast-to-coast shot, but the hook is a lot more pronounced. And yes it crushes the pocket like crazy (when it’s on target that is.)

On one hand, i’m superduperwayoverthemoon happy because i’ve finally found back my release. My Ace isn’t just a hard-hitting ball anymore, it’s a hard-hitting ball with an attitude. My Scout is reduced to spare shooting, with which i tend to throw a spinner. The accuracy could be improved, but that’s not the point.

MY ACE REACTS AGAIN! Godlike.

On the other hand, this makes me really really gian to train hard so i can impress chai. Not that there were many of them at bowling alleys anyway, and not that i can jio chai to go bowling with me anyway (i’m just too unpopular. HAHAHA) but yes there’s that wicked surge of satisfaction when you see your ball run along the gutter and then move into the pocket, sending those pins flying…HOOOOOOAH!

Samantha tan has also been making a comeback in my limited memory space. I was reading MindYourBody when her fridge was being featured on ‘What Skeletons do You Keep in Your Fridge?’ or something like that, and well i was going OMGWTF…SHE’S BAAAAAACKK! *swoons* I’m not exactly her No. 1 fan, but i’m a fan nonetheless. You go, girl. And just when she was fading out of my memory (and probably out of everyone else’s memory since she’s been a no-show since Be With Me) she just has to return.

OMG…a song is rattling about in my head right now just thinking about it.

you shake my nerves and you rattle my brain
too much of love drives a man insane
you want my will? or just a thrill?
GOODNESS GRACIOUS, GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!

Pucker up again, girl…you can either kiss a hot babe or kiss myself. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Manual Transmission Makes Me Go YOSH! March 22, 2006

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So, Leute.

As most of you probably know by now (well not exactly most…it was more or less a closed secret) i have gotten myself (read: my poppa was extremely nice and got me) a 9-year-old Nissan March 1.0MT! Well, it was in good condition and was going for just 14k inclusive of insurance…which meant, in other words, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!

Anyhows.

After driving my mom’s car around…i have come to the conclusion that automatic transmission cars are boring. I have also come to the conclusion that drivers are really scary people. I am one myself. And so i hereby devote myself to the cult of people who worship manual transmission cars for any particular reason, until the day i am no longer able to handle the clutch anymore.

Thank goodness my dad got me a manual car. You can see what happens to people when, despite having learnt how to drive a manual, have been weaned on automatic. For example, kah yee. (i shall elaborate no further.)

But still…it’s damn shiok rushing down half of the Seven Turns Road (the one which connects Buona Vista and West Coast) at 3rd gear, switching down and up as the turns come and go. Excitement! And the feeling you could be the next Initial D. HAHAHAHAHA…

I hope this car and myself will survive the next 5 months. I pray i’ll become a more disciplined driver, only pulling stunts when i want to (and not unconsciously…so far, so good) I pray i’ll be driving manual until i’m 40. I pray someone’ll get me an Impreza WRX or a GT-R. Or an Aston Martin (now that’d be awesome…)

Either way, guys out there fussing over whether to learn to drive manual or automatic, listen to this: GO MANUAL. Automatics are for the ladies (and the ladies amongst you men too,) and you should be ashamed of yourselves one day when you see the hottest babe on the road, only to discover that she drives a manual and yourself, an automatic.

Hooray for equality of the sexes!